lift+love family stories by autumn mcalpin
Since 2021, Lift+Love has shared hundreds of real stories from Latter-day Saint LGBTQ individuals, their families, and allies. These stories—written by Autumn McAlpin—emerged from personal interviews with each participant and were published with their express permission.
CAROL LYNN PEARSON
“Ultimately, they determined the best thing was to end the marriage and choose to part as friends. From that time on, Carol Lynn supported the family through her writing. Four years after the move, Gerald contracted AIDS. Carol Lynn brought him into the family home to care for him until he passed away.
“It never occurred to me that I’d write about it,” she says. “It was such a shameful thing at the time.” But something stirred. She had come to believe, “We have this whole thing wrong. I don’t know why people are gay, but I know they are children of God. We must figure out a better way to treat these people than we’ve done in the past.” As Carol Lynn witnessed families rejecting their gay children and churches offering no refuge, she knew: this story had to be told…
MARGARET STEWARD
Margaret Steward didn’t grow up imagining she’d one day be the wife of a mission president, or the woman quietly fielding whispers after her husband came out as gay…
At first, romance was the furthest thing from Margaret’s mind. She was on a dating break and says she liked hanging out, but not like that. She wasn’t exactly leaning in. But Travis liked being with Margaret and said he could see himself marrying her, though he’d never had a girlfriend before. “I thought he was just a shy and inexperienced guy,” she says. “But being together felt comfortable. He’d always wanted to be married and have a family. And we enjoyed each other…”
TRAVIS STEWARD
“Travis has been asked why he didn’t tell Margaret he was gay before they were married. “The truth is, I did not believe that I was gay, myself. I assumed that I was being tempted or that I was confused or just inexperienced.” It was a different world back in the early 1980’s, and the idea of hiding in a marriage or marrying to fix it never crossed his mind. “I knew I loved her, and she was my very best friend, and I had no doubt that we would have a wonderful marriage.”
By the time they married in August of 1985, Travis was already deeply entrenched in hustling for self-worth. He felt terrible and ashamed of this secret he was hiding, and service became a drug of choice. He explains, “I felt that I could hide from my own worries if I could worry about somebody else’s.” He became a natural fit for and was often asked to serve in leadership capacities at church almost constantly for the next 30 years…
JESSICA ANGUS
Jessica Angus (she/her) has had many lives in her 32 years: missionary, ranch hand, electrical engineering student, circuit board designer, ramen shop manager, educator, tutor, and tabletop game master. She is also a transgender woman—a journey she has approached through years of careful reflection, private exploration, and spiritual inquiry…
BEN HIGINBOTHAM
Ben Higinbotham (they/them) is gay and transmasculine non-binary. Ben says, “If I explained my personal version of non-binary to someone, I’d say, ‘If masculinity was a fork and femininity was a spoon, I’d be a spork.” Ben also sometimes has to explain their sexual orientation, saying, “When people ask what it means for me to be gay as a non-binary person, I say that I guess I’m half gay for girls and half straight for girls.” One thing Ben wants to emphasize is that being gay and/or trans is not a choice or contagious.
BRAXTON ROGELIO
Braxton Rogelio (he/him) has spent his life pursuing the arts while asking big questions—which has led him to embrace his identity as the proud transmasculine, gay man he is today…
AUBREY CHAVES
Aubrey Chaves has mastered the art of asking questions. As the co-host, alongside her husband Tim, of the popular Faith Matters podcast, Aubrey is known for her curious spirit and ability to ask complex, thoughtful questions of her guests, who range from scholars and theologians to therapists and philosophers. The conversations she helps lead are not surface-level; they probe deeply into the experience of faith expansion, and often, faith crisis…
DR LISA TENSMEYER HANSEN
Chapters. That’s how Lisa Tensmeyer Hansen describes the various seasons that have directed her to what she now regards as the pinnacle of her life’s work. All along, she has felt the guidance of an all-knowing hand…
