lift+love family stories by autumn mcalpin
Since 2021, Lift+Love has shared hundreds of real stories from Latter-day Saint LGBTQ individuals, their families, and allies. These stories—written by Autumn McAlpin—emerged from personal interviews with each participant and were published with their express permission.
THE CARPENTER FAMILY
An openly gay missionary. Most people have yet to meet one. Some may wonder if it’s even possible. But Elder Shane Carpenter’s smile shines brightly above his missionary tag and the rainbow heart pin he wears while serving full-time within the circumference of “the happiest place on earth,” in Anaheim, CA…
THE BENCH FAMILY
After 14 years of marriage, Lindsey and Keegan Bench of Spokane, WA have defined their role in their church and community as strong allies willing to speak up in love for the marginalized. Because this was a found path for them, rather than an inherent one, they bring the added asset of understanding where others are coming from who might still struggle to be stone catchers in a world filled with stone throwers. But Lindsey and Keegan are the first to admit, it took time to get here. In fact, when Lindsey’s brother first came out as gay over a decade ago, they weren’t even on the same page with each other when it came to understanding LGBTQ issues. Now, united in their quest to break down the fortresses that prevent us from fully embracing God’s love for all, Lindsey and Keegan Bench are grateful to have glimpsed what it means to expand the tent of Zion…
THE ROWELL FAMILY
To this day, it’s still hard for Penny Rowell to talk about without emotions resurfacing. It’s been almost a decade since her son Trevor, now 27, first came out to his parents, but he only felt safe coming out publicly in the past couple years. While his parents are so proud of him and optimistic for Trevor’s future, sometimes they wish they could go back and get a redo. To rewind and shield him from so many painful things heard at church. A decade ago, many in their circle – including Todd and Penny – were operating off limited understanding about what it means to be gay. But now, they are grateful for the plethora of resources available, and thus choose to be one themselves through sharing their story…
THE MACDONALD FAMILY
“We had wonderings, when he was young. But you know, we’re LDS. We didn’t quite know how to fit that in,” says Liz Macdonald, of her 27-year-old son, Matt, who is gay. “In my mind, I figured he’d probably be able to marry a woman and make it work.” While Liz and Eric Macdonald are fairly progressive in their religious and political beliefs, when they were raising young kids, Liz said they operated more off an “it’s probably not my child” mentality in terms of LGBTQ issues, and put them on the shelf…
THE DEAN FAMILY
Annika Dean’s life hasn’t exactly followed the idyllic path she remembers seeing displayed on a felt board in Primary at a young age. She was the only child in her row raised by divorced parents, and she would later go through a divorce herself. Both of her children identify as LGBTQ. And Annika and her oldest son have each survived a separate mass shooting. Annika Dean’s life redefines the concept of “All these things shall give thee experience.” And it is with an admirable amount of strength and resilience that she excavates through the rubble to share the rainbows of her past decade with us…
THE SARAH DAVIS FAMILY
As a child, every morning, Ehren Clark got put on a special bus and shuttled off to the Gifted and Talented school. He was handsome. A charmer. Artistic and fashion forward. He’d grow to be 6’4, a great swimmer and excellent student, and the manager of a bakery while still in high school. He graduated from college, got his masters, and began a successful career. He had all of the brains, talent, and charisma to do whatever he wanted in life, but according to his big sister, Sarah, “The world crushed it out of him. It’s kinda not fair.”…
THE FREW FAMILY / HUSBAND-IN-LAW
Few can claim the privilege of having a husband-in-law. The very label makes you think: how does that work? But for Matt and Jessica Frew, and Jessica’s ex-husband, Steve Stoddard, it’s not only their relationship, but their brand. The trio have made the best of a complex situation since Steve came out to Jessica as gay shortly after they married 17 years ago…
THE MCEWEN FAMILY
There are many things Liz McEwen knows about herself: that she is madly in love with her husband, Jason. She adores her kids, Scarlett – 5, and Leo – 3. And that she has found tremendous relief since last summer when she came out publicly as bisexual. One added nugget that has helped Liz adapt since she first realized this unique part of herself decades ago: Liz knows she was created by Heavenly Parents who fully understand and love her for who she is. That doesn’t mean it’s always been easy.
