lift+love family stories by autumn mcalpin
Since 2021, Lift+Love has shared hundreds of real stories from Latter-day Saint LGBTQ individuals, their families, and allies. These stories—written by Autumn McAlpin—emerged from personal interviews with each participant and were published with their express permission.
THE BAIR FAMILY
When Brinda Bair’s brother Kevin came home early from his mission and then came out as gay 15 years ago, it was “a rough patch” for her family. “We didn’t quite know how to deal with that, and we didn’t deal with it in a healthy way,” she says. As a result, Kevin ended up distancing himself from his family for several years, and it has taken time for them to mend relationships to where they are now – an instrumental place for Brinda, as it is now Kevin who serves as a positive role model for her own gay son, Christian…
THE JARRIE JOHNS FAMILY
Jarrie Johns of Erie, CO says she first sensed her youngest child, Kaden, might be gay when he was in the first grade. “He didn’t seem to have a lot of guy friends, and gravitated more toward traditionally girl things. He was artistic, sensitive.” When she mentioned this to friends and her husband, Devin, they brushed it aside, and Jarrie herself often tried to convince herself it wasn’t true – even baiting Kaden with frequent “What girl do you have a crush on?” kinds of questions, hoping he’d procure an answer. But he didn’t. And so the thought her son was likely gay lingered in Jarrie’s mind as she watched him grow…
THE BRODERICK FAMILY
On a crisp March day in 2020, Joni Broderick boarded a plane near her Washington D.C.-area home to fly to Salt Lake City, UT. She was dressed and ready to go to the temple, the first scheduled activity of a North Star conference she had signed up to attend in her efforts to learn more about how she could support her son, Kyle. Kyle had come out as gay just six months prior. As Joni left her hotel to begin driving to the Jordan River Temple, she got a call from Kyle, who was 45 minutes away at BYU, where he was a sophomore…
CORA JOHNSON
Cora Johnson grew up in Snowflake, AZ -- a small town so predominately LDS it’s been dubbed “Little Utah.” But she’s grateful to have also grown up in an open-minded household with parents who taught her from an early age to ask questions and to explore other cultures and ideas. Having prioritized global travel above “just about everything else,” Cora says her parents, Cooper and Cameo Johnson, have instilled their “vagabond genes” in each of their four kids: Cora – 21, Granger – 19, Jonah – 17, and Ezra – 13. While balancing a full and hectic life, through good and bad financial times, whether it be starting a business or pursuing higher education and trying to meet the needs of all members of the family, they always prioritized travel. Together, the family embarked on adventures everywhere from Morocco to Malaysia. Cora managed to visit 32 countries and all 50 states before her LDS mission to Santa Rosa, CA, and upon her recent return, just squeezed in a trip to Europe, the Middle East, and Africa. It’s this broader perspective that Cora credits as having helped her navigate her inner journey of being queer with confidence…
THE CHRISTENSEN FAMILY
In February of 2021, Mindy Christensen drove cross country from her Tallahassee, FL home to her parents’ house in Orem, UT to bring her third child home. It was a big trip, in many ways. Mindy was driving a brand new car – an SUV in a loud, gorgeous red far from the norm of her typically subtle car palette. And the child she’d be picking up was her soon to be 24-year-old. A month earlier, Mads (nonbinary; they/them) had called their mom, Mindy, to share big news: after two years of marriage to a man, Mads had come to terms with the fact that they were gay, and needed to get divorced. Also, Mads would be bringing their seven-month-old son, Luca, back with them…
THE HARRISON FAMILY
“It never crossed our minds,” says Jill Harrison of the 22 years she spent raising her son before finding out he was gay. Unlike other parents she’s encountered who had early promptings about their LGBTQ toddlers or teens, Jill says, “We never would have guessed Matthew was gay, and I don’t think anyone else would have either.”
THE BURTON FAMILY
One night, when Holly Burton was tucking her 6-year-old son Sam into bed, he looked up at her with his imploring blue eyes and said, “Mom, I have a question and you have to tell me the truth. Am I adopted?” Holly responded, “No, honey. I would tell you if you were adopted; why do you ask that?” Her son replied, “I don’t know, I’m just… different.”
It turns out Sam would experience a unique path from many of his peers, in more ways than one. “He was always a very creative, gentle, inquisitive and intelligent child,” says his mom. “He tested to be in a gifted program, but he wanted to stay at his regular school and be with his friends.”
Sam is the second of five children in the Burton Family. Throughout middle and high school, Holly says Sam didn’t identify himself as being gay, but later reasons that the guys he admired back then probably were crushes. He told her, “Our culture never provided me with a healthy framework to even conceive of being gay, so it was easy to dissociate and convince myself it wasn’t so.” Sam had lots of friends who were girls, but no girlfriends. Holly now laughs, “I always just thought he was so pure, he wasn’t going to kiss anyone before his mission.” Indeed, as he prepared to serve, Sam’s stake president told his parents, “I interview a lot of missionaries before they leave and really grill them – I want to tell you that Sam is one of the purest souls I’ve ever spoken with.”
Sam loved serving in one of the New York missions, and his friends and family loved receiving his “wonderfully entertaining letters.” Halfway through his mission, Sam began having what he thought were heart problems. He was put through a series of tests, but came to realize he was experiencing severe anxiety attacks. Sam was coming to the realization that he was gay and the cognitive dissonance that it created caused his body to react. He came out to a LDS services therapist as well as his mission president.