The Campbell Family

“I want Shelby to live a life that she loves.  I want her to have a relationship with God and feel His love every day. I want her to find a life partner, have a fulfilling career, and just be happy.” These wishes for a child could be echoed by just about any mother in the world. Only for Becky Campbell, she would also love “for the Church to find a better way to include families like mine, whatever that looks like.”

For Becky, a “family like mine” includes husband of 21 years, Dave, who works in information technology for the Associated Press, and children Shelby (19), Tessa (10), Christian (10), and Lilly (9). They live in Herriman, Utah, where Becky works as a medical transcriptionist, freelance photographer, and also stays quite busy taking care of everyone. One thing that sets the Campbell family apart from many in the church is something that Becky says has only brought them closer together: their love and support of transgender daughter, Shelby. “I know that each of our kids has been sent to our family so we could learn from each other. Having a transgender child has been a life-changing learning experience in the best way. Even though we have lots of differences within our family, we are in this together. Family means nobody gets left behind.” 

Shelby currently studies Music Production at SLCC. She plays the piano and guitar and records her own music. “Shelby is incredibly empathetic. She feels her emotions deeply and expresses herself beautifully through music,” says her mother. Shelby also values honesty and authenticity, and inspires those qualities in others. Becky says Shelby’s younger siblings “adore her -- they have a special relationship. And she keeps us laughing constantly.” 

Shortly before her 17th birthday, Shelby came out to her parents. She started medical and social (mtf) transition in spring of 2020, before coming out to her extended family and the world in September of 2020.

Becky now belongs to our “amazing” online support group for LDS parents of LGBTQ kids, and she values the advice of friends in similar situations who have helped her acknowledge that Shelby is the same person her family has always known her to be. “I think the best advice is to ask Heavenly Father how best to help and love your child.”

When it comes to the church, Becky says she would love for leadership to acknowledge that LGBTQ people and their families are “part of the church and that we matter. I want them to see us. I would love for policies regarding LGBTQ people to be more inclusive. I'd love to hear stories and talks where we acknowledge our LGBTQ loved ones.” For everyone else, she offers this advice: “If someone you love comes out as LGBTQ, please let them know you accept them and care about them regardless of what their church activity looks like.  Be interested in their lives and accomplishments, especially when it doesn't look like the typical LDS ‘covenant path’ timeline.”

Through loving Shelby unconditionally, Becky says, “I've felt a tiny slice of the love that I know Jesus feels for each of us. I don't love my children because of anything that they accomplish or what I think they could be in the future. I love them exactly as they are, today. I think this kind of love is the Savior's greatest gift to us.”

*** Much thanks to the Campbell family for sharing their story. We’d love to feature your (LGBTQ) family in our weekly Lift & Love at Home profiles! Please dm us. #liftandloveathome #liftandloveorg

The Winget Family

“You only need to do two things: love your family and trust me.” These were the divine words whispered into Robyn Winget’s heart when praying for guidance shortly after her then 27-year-old son Taylor came out two years ago. Luckily, Robyn knew it would be easy to do just that.

Now an empty nester living with her husband Jim in Eagle, Idaho, Robyn relished being a full-time mother of three and now loves it even more when they come home: Taylor and his husband Dallon, daughter Kaitlyn and her husband Tyler, and their son Parker who is engaged to be married in June. Robyn is looking forward to having three successful weddings under her belt, and for her equally supportive party-planning mother: three successful engagement parties for her grandchildren. Jim and Robyn appreciate how their extended family love and support all of their children. Everyone came to Taylor and Dallon’s wedding, and no one has ever said, “I love you but—” 

Taylor was already (quietly) dating his would-be husband, Dallon, at the time he confidently came out and told his parents he is gay, just a week after General Conference 2018. While Robyn and Jim were sorrowful over the pain he had lived with alone for years, Taylor’s coming out was a positive “we are going to be fine” experience for their entire family. For two years prior, Robyn had felt stirrings inside, a quiet preparatory voice that asked, “What would you do if one of your kids came out?” But Robyn already knew that child would be met with nothing but love. 

Taylor and Dallon are a Tinder success story and highly compatible – both returned missionaries raised in active, supportive LDS families. The couple now lives in South Jordan, UT where Taylor, a BYU graduate, works as a marketing project manager at BioFire and part-time as a realtor, which is Dallon’s full-time occupation. The two love to travel, work out, and bring the fun to family gatherings. Robyn says Taylor is “wickedly funny” with an apt quote from The Office for every occasion. 

Growing up, Taylor was a happy kid who played lacrosse and had a lot of friends... (cont'd in comments) 

Robyn says, “He was very obedient and my most temple-attending child. He thought if he did everything right, the Lord would ‘fix him’.” It was in the temple during his 20s that Taylor said he received a comforting personal revelation of his own, after asking his Heavenly Father if it would be okay for him to live his life as an openly gay man. The impressions he received were, “Man is not meant to be alone,” and “Men are that they might have joy.” 

While Taylor and Dallon claim they love the church and do not harbor bitter feelings, they “recognize this is probably not going to be a path for us” as living in a legal union precludes a gay couple from partaking of the sacrament. Robyn appreciates that the young bishop who lives in their neighborhood shows them genuine love and regularly invites them to church meetings and activities (they occasionally attend), by saying: “We want you with us. We are stronger with you.” 

When Taylor first came out, the first words from Robyn’s bishop’s mouth were, “I can’t imagine the amount of pain he has been in for the past years.” That response, and the fact that he and his wife came to Taylor’s wedding, has always stuck with Robyn as true discipleship. Her bishop also teaches, “We need to make the uncomfortable comfortable.” Robyn agrees, reasoning that if you are uncomfortable with another’s path, you need to get to know them better and make that your role. She is “grateful these remarkable leaders have lived their baptismal covenant: ‘to bear one another’s burdens’ which literally means to support us. To say, ‘I love you, but I can’t support you’ is not bearing one another’s burdens.” 

Robyn also appreciates it when members ask about her gay son’s marriage and life just like they inquire about her straight children. But when the occasional offensive comment or question comes her way, Robyn recognizes, “I can’t get angry with people for not knowing what they do not yet know.”  

The Winget family relies on the teachings of their prophet, President Nelson, who emphasizes the power and necessity of personal revelation. 

They are grateful for their experience to lift and love Taylor (who lifts and loves them right back), because they say they’ve learned great lessons they wouldn’t have otherwise. Robyn has met new friends on church pews who have confided their own struggles, feeling comfortable because her family also doesn’t “fit the mold.” 

Robyn is a temple worker, where she has felt the divine, godly love of a perfect Heavenly Father who, in a sacred experience, has conveyed He loves her and her entire family more than mortals can comprehend. That is her focus for the eternities. And for the now, she says she could not be more pleased with all Taylor has accomplished – he’s happy, in a committed marriage with a partner he loves, and he loves his family. Robyn takes great comfort in her eternal perspective: “I can’t imagine heaven without my family, and I know in my heart that won’t be the case.”

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If you’re willing to share your family’s story in a Lift and Love at Home profile, please dm us! #liftandlove #liftandloveathome