lift+love family stories by autumn mcalpin
Since 2021, Lift+Love has shared hundreds of real stories from Latter-day Saint LGBTQ individuals, their families, and allies. These stories—written by Autumn McAlpin—emerged from personal interviews with each participant and were published with their express permission.
IESE WILSON
After earning two degrees in music performance, Iese Wilson, 30, now holds his dream job as a high school choir director. The conductor role he’s assumed in advocacy work has also proven a dream come true for many of his LGBTQ+ Latter-day Saint peers around the world who have benefitted from his efforts…
SPENCER SMITH
This past week found Spencer Smith, 31, strolling through his favorite place on earth, churro in hand, as he worked his way from Big Thunder to Guardians of the Galaxy with a group of friends. “Disneyland is the only place I know of where a full-grown man can run up to a character and no one bats an eye.” For Spencer, it’s a welcome escape, and the “one place I can completely be myself, and no one even looks twice…
THE JENKINS FAMILY
Content warning: suicidal ideation
Kathryn and Jare (rhymes with “care”) Jenkins had been married for eight years and were expecting their third child when Jare handed Kathryn an eye-opening letter. Kathryn opened it to read that the husband who she had met and fell in love with and married in the Salt Lake City LDS temple was now coming out to her as transgender. Kathryn was in complete shock: “It was a lot to process. I was emotional. It was a hard time for both of us.” Further complicating things, as soon as Jare (they/them) came out to Kathryn, they immediately went back into the closet, not ready to talk about it…
XIAN MACKINTOSH
On occasion, Xian Mackintosh is also invited to share his side of the story at firesides and speaking events at which his LDS parents, Scott and Becky, are asked to keynote. As referenced in last week’s story, this is something all three appreciate. Both sides of this parent-child dynamic acknowledge their journey has been one of growth, but most of all, love. It’s an impressive consensus as their lives currently look a little different from each others’ and from how they once thought things would go…
EVIE MECHAM
Emma “Evie” Mecham laughs that she grew up in a one gas station-town, as in, there was nothing else to do besides go to the gas station. In Firth, Idaho, official population of 539, there were no restaurants, no Walmart, just that fuel pump and a couple mechanic shops. “Most of the parents were farmers or teachers. For entertainment, kids mostly just hung out with their friends.” …
AUSTIN PETERSON
Austin Peterson’s Spanish Fork, UT upbringing was one in which he believed what he was taught, and he often faked what he didn’t feel to fit in with the other guys who surrounded him. He convinced himself that the draw he felt toward some of his male peers in middle and high school was presumably because he was envious of them. When friends would ask which of two actresses was worthy of celebrity crush status, Austin would respond, “They’re both fine.”
TOM CHRISTOFFERSON
Very much aware of the friction at the LDS-LGBTQ+ intersection, Tom says at least one reason for the Atonement was so Christ could know all the experiences we would have and could succor and be with us in our journeys. In turn, Tom says, “Allowing ourselves to rub against the rough edges of each other is painful, even hurtful, but if we can allow it, the experience can also help us to see the pain of others that drives their behavior. That understanding can, hopefully, be consecrated to greater empathy for those with whom we assume we have little in common. which might build bridges of understanding and unity.” At the same time, Tom recognizes the reality of the experience in his own life, and for others as well, in allowing yourself space or distance as needed from places or situations in order to rebuild strength and peace. Those experiences, too, he feels, can be used by the Lord to teach us how to share the journey, and the wounds, of those around us…
SYTSKE WOODHOUSE
Looking back, much of Sytske (“seet-ska”) Woodhouse’s life can be sorted by the before and after of one major life event that initiated an awakening. Before the last of her four sons was born in 2011, Sytske was a dutiful Latter-day Saint defined by titles: supportive wife, nurturing mom, housekeeper--roles she had fallen in line with for about 10 years. Roles for which she’d been well trained. As a child, Sytske’s Sandy, Utah-based family of origin was absolutely dedicated to the LDS church. Her father worked as President of Ensign college for 17 years where he frequently met with general authorities. He also served as a bishop and stake presidency counselor throughout Sytske’s adolescent and young adult years. Her family was the type who read The Miracle of Forgiveness as a togetherness activity, as her four older brothers were preparing to “date to marry”…
