lift+love family stories by autumn mcalpin
Since 2021, Lift+Love has shared hundreds of real stories from Latter-day Saint LGBTQ individuals, their families, and allies. These stories—written by Autumn McAlpin—emerged from personal interviews with each participant and were published with their express permission.
THE BERNARDS FAMILY
THE HAYCOCK FAMILY
For the Haycock family, the process of publicly sharing their story has felt like both an excavation and a family therapy session. It started with a sacrament meeting talk given in June by their youngest child, Emily, that spread on YouTube as she shared her evolution of learning how to show full Christlike love for her transgender brother, Carlos. It was a talk she was so nervous to give that her Apple watch clocked 25 minutes of cardio while doing so. But that experience was positive enough to nudge Emily toward also sharing her family’s story (with their permission) on the podcast, What Now. (links in stories)
DAVID SMURTHWAITE
“One afternoon when everyone was out of the house, I snuck into the back of my mother’s closet,” says David Smurthwaite of Salt Lake City, UT, recalling his childhood. “There was a really old dress tucked away I’d never seen my mom wear – and rightfully so – and I stole it away to my room along with collected dregs of makeup rejects from our guest bathroom. And there, behind a locked bedroom door, I first experimented with expression….
THE HIGGINBOTHAM FAMILY
“As soon as Lu was born, my husband and I were sitting on our bed and looking at this cute little baby with black hair that stuck up in every direction, and we both felt that there was something about this child that we couldn’t quite put our finger on,” says Leah Higginbotham of Highland, Utah. She and husband Dylan are the parents of Olivia – 19, Gage – 17, Nash – 14, Lu – 11, and Lila – 8. Leah says that as Lu (birth name: Lucy) grew, as soon as they could express a preference, Lu was always in boy clothes and wanted their hair cut short. One of Lu’s first sentences when Leah tried to put her toddler in something pink was, “No, I a boy,” as Lu pushed her mother away. Every Sunday was a struggle trying to get Lu into a dress for church. The rest of the week, the Higginbothams allowed Lu to dress as preferred, which frequently attracted comments like, “Oh she’s a tomboy. I used to be a tomboy…” But as Lu grew, instead of leaning away from being a boy, Lu leaned into it even more….
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