lift+love recommendations for you
What Should I Do or Say? - Church Leaders (Church Website)
D. TODD CHRISTOFFERSON: “Initial reactions are critical. And the inclination, the temptation, that people have often is anger or rejection. Sometimes it’s simply denial on both sides of the question, whatever it may be. And it’s important to have enough self-control to lay all that aside and just have a little patience and to begin to talk and begin to listen and begin to try to understand better. We lose nothing by spending time together, by trying to understand. Even where there is not agreement on a course to follow at the moment or how to respond or how to react, we don’t have to do everything today. We don’t have to resolve everything in a month or a week or a year. These things are questions of resolution over time and accommodation over time and seeking the will of the Lord over time and guided by Him over time. So I hope we will give ourselves the time and have the patience to listen and understand and not insist on everything being resolved within a certain framework of time” …
Should Leaders Recommend Professional Counseling? (Church Website)
“A change in attraction should not be expected or demanded as an outcome by parents, leaders, or professional counselors. However, seeking insight from a professional counselor is a sign of strength and humility. If a person chooses to seek such help, others should respect his or her right to determine the desired outcomes…When one seeks therapy, the Church recommends approaches that respect “client self-determination.” In other words, the individual has the right to determine desired outcomes, and therapists and counselors should respect his or her wishes. For someone who experiences same-sex attraction or identifies as gay, counseling may help the person approach his or her sexuality in healthier, more fulfilling ways. However, counseling and therapy are not needed by everyone. While shifts in sexuality can and do occur for some people, it is unethical to focus professional treatment on an assumption that a change in sexual orientation will or must occur. Again, the individual has the right to define the desired outcome” (“Should I recommend professional counseling to gay members and/or their families?” - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - Resources for Leaders)
Is Same-Sex Attraction A Sin? (Church Website)
“Feelings of same-sex attraction are not a sin. President M. Russell Ballard stated:
“Let us be clear: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believes that ‘the experience of same-sex attraction is a complex reality for many people. The attraction itself is not a sin, but acting on it is. Even though individuals do not choose to have such attractions, they do choose how to respond to them. With love and understanding, the Church reaches out to all God’s children, including [those with same-sex attraction]’”
While same-sex attraction is not a sin, it can be a challenge. While one may not have chosen to have these feelings, he or she can commit to keep God’s commandments. The parent of a child who experiences same-sex attraction or identifies as gay should choose to love and embrace that child. As a community of Church members, we should choose to create a welcoming community.” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints website - Resources for Leaders
What Causes Same-Sex Attraction? (Church Website)
“The Church does not take a position on the cause of same-sex attraction.* President Dallin H. Oaks stated: “The Church does not have a position on the causes of…same-gender attraction” “What Causes Same-Sex Attraction?” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - Resources for Leaders (please note that this current statement indicates the incorrectness of previous assumptions that sexual orientation is caused by poor parenting, sins of the parents, or any other factor - Lift+Love)
Same-sex Attraction is Different than Gender Dysphoria (Church website)
“Same-sex attraction* and gender dysphoria* are very different. For example, those who experience gender dysphoria may or may not also experience same-sex attraction, and the majority of those who experience same-sex attraction do not desire to change their gender. From a psychological and ministerial perspective, the two are different”
*For explanation of these terms, visit the Lift+Love terminology page here
Labeling Attraction (Church Website)
“There are active, temple recommend–holding Church members who comply with the law of chastity and identify themselves as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. There are active Church members who experience same-sex attraction and never choose to identify themselves using a label”. From the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints website resources for leaders
TERMS: Types of Attraction (Church Website)
TERMS FOR TYPES OF ATTRACTION “The most common labels are lesbian (a woman attracted to women), gay (a man attracted to men), and bisexual (a man or woman attracted to both genders). Some women may also use the term gay to describe themselves. People may use other labels, and some who experience same-sex attraction choose not to use a label to describe themselves. How people choose to identify may change over time” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints “What Do I Need to Understand About Same-Sex Attraction?” for Leaders
TERM: "Same-Sex Attraction" (Church website resources)
TERM: "Same-Sex Attraction" (Church website resources) “Same-sex attraction* (SSA) refers to emotional, physical, romantic, or sexual attraction to a person of the same gender. If you experience same-sex attraction, you may or may not choose to use a sexual orientation label to describe yourself. Either way, same-sex attraction is a technical term describing the experience without imposing a label. This website uses this term to be inclusive of people who are not comfortable using a label, not to deny the existence of a gay, lesbian, or bisexual identity”
Dale G Renlund: Suicide (Prevention) and Same-Sex Attraction (Video)
Dale G Renlund: Suicide and Same-Sex Attraction. In this video, Elder Renlund explains that LGBTQ people are often isolated, but we should treat them the way that the Savior would - with more love, care, and inclusion - not exclusion.
Ronald A. Rasband - Supporting Transgender Individuals (video)
Elder Ronald A. Rasband taught that (people who experience gender dysphoria)… “need to be encircled in the arms of their Savior and know they are loved. So often the Lord calls on us; He expects us to be His welcoming, loving arms. We need to encourage their friends to do the same” Ronald A. Rasband, “Jesus Christ Is the Answer” (evening with a General Authority, Feb. 8, 2019)
Expanding the Borders of Zion - Charlie Bird
Many people want to offer love and support to their LGBTQ friends and neighbors but aren't sure how. Bird’s unique position as a gay Latter-day Saint has given him valuable insight. In this book, he authentically details the blessings and challenges faced by gay members of the Church and provides readers with the perspective, understanding, and tools they need to more effectively minister to those who identity as LGBTQ. Expanding the Borders of Zion bridges the gap between religion and the LGBTQ community in a way that is both bold and inviting. It will undoubtedly inspire you to love deeper, grow closer to Christ, and expand your heart to more fully embrace all of God’s children.
Tender Leaves of Hope: Finding Belonging as LGBTQ Latter-day Saint Women - Meghan Decker
Growing up, Meghan could not see how her deep spiritual faith and her attraction to women could coexist. But after decades of shame, denial, and hiding, Meghan came to accept this part of herself. She realized that while she can't decide to change her sexual orientation, she can decide how to respond to the circumstances of her life. As she felt the tender love of the Lord, her faith deepened. Her experience will help Church leaders, friends, and family understand how to support their LGBTQ loved ones. Now Meghan is sharing her story, along with insights from dozens of other LGBTQ Latter-day Saint women.
Come As You Are - Creating Space for the Rising Generation - Samuel Norton
With faith and testimony under increasing attack, parents can often be left wondering what they can do to help their children remain faithfully on the covenant path. Come as You Are by Samuel Norton, looks at some of the cultural aspects of membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and questions if those aspects of our lives are helping connect our youth and young adults to the Source of Redeeming Love. With the notion of creating “space,” listeners will understand that the opportunities to connect with Jesus are limitless, if we will give our youth and young adults the tools and the “space” to do so their way.
Listeners will understand that the “space” needed to connect with our Savior can be encroached upon by the language we use, the lessons we teach, our discomfort with not having the answers, and our binary approach to life.
Giving the rising generation the opportunity to connect with Jesus Christ isn’t about just making sure that they show up at church and attend activities every week. It’s about making sure they understand Christ stands willing to welcome them as they are. It’s about recognizing that He will perfect them in the process of time. It’s about helping them see that everyone can Come as They Are.
That We May Be One - A Gay Mormon's Perspective on Faith & Family - Tom Christofferson
"A happy gay Mormon." That's the shorthand I often use to describe myself," writes Tom Christofferson. "Some of my gay friends--as well as some of my LDS friends--are a little surprised that I think it's possible to be a gay Mormon." In That We May Be One, Tom Christofferson shares perspectives gained from his life's journey as a gay man who left The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and then returned to it. After having asked to be excommunicated from the faith he was raised in, Tom spent two decades in a loving relationship with a committed partner. But gradually, the love of family, friends, and strangers and the Spirit of the Lord worked on him until he found himself one night sitting in his car in front of the bishop's house....
This book is about the lessons Tom, his family, and his fellow Saints learned while trying to love as God loves. It is about the scope and strength of this circle of love and about how learning the truth of our relationship with God draws us to Him For anyone who has wondered how to keep moving forward in the face of difficult decisions and feelings of ambiguity; for anyone who needs to better understand the redeeming power of our Savior, Jesus Christ; for anyone who seeks to love more fully; this book offers reassurance and testimony of God's love for all
But Jesus: A Conversation - Autumn McAlpin
But Jesus: A Conversation takes us on a journey of a family deconstructing with the use of a compass and their conscience, and reconstructing with the salve that will help bind them most of all: love. With stunning cover art by J. Kirk Richards, this book is intended to offer an open shoulder for all families who find themselves at the intersection of the LDS and LGBTQ+ conflict, and for the loved ones trying to understand the complex choices they face. All proceeds from the sales of this book will be donated to life-saving therapy programs for the LGBTQ+ community through 501c3 nonprofits Encircle and Flourish.
All Things New - Rethinking Sin Salvation and Everything in Between - Fiona and Terryl Givens
Fiona and Terryl Givens trace the roots of our religious vocabulary, explore how a flawed inheritance compounds the wounds and challenges of a life devoted to discipleship, and suggest ways of reformulating our language in more healthy ways all in the hope that, as B. H. Roberts urged, we may all cooperate in the works of the Spirit to find a truer expression of a gospel restored.
Love Boldly - Embracing Your LGBTQ Loved Ones and Your Faith- Becky Mackintosh
"Mom, Dad, I'm gay." One Facebook message completely changed Becky Mackintosh's life in the blink of an eye. Though she had often wondered about her son Sean when he was young, she had never entertained the possibility that her suspicions could be true. And just like that, battle lines were drawn between siblings, parents, friends with the Church somewhere in the middle. A choice was before the Mackintosh family. Just not the one they were expecting. Experience Becky's journey and witness how her faith allowed her to embrace her religion and her gay son. She'll tell you that the answer to every question and conflict is love.
Goodbye, I Love You - Carol Lynn Pearson
“Published by Random House in 1986, this is the story of my life with my husband Gerald, a homosexual man, our twelve-year Mormon temple marriage, our four children, our divorce, our ongoing friendship, and my caring for him in my home as he died of AIDS. This book took me on a national tour with appearances on Oprah, Good Morning America, and many other major talk shows, as well as a feature in People Magazine. For numerous people, this book opened up the conversation on homosexuality”
Listen, Learn, & Love - Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints - Richard Ostler
Through the power of storytelling, former YSA bishop Richard Ostler brings to life the experiences of LGBTQ Latter-day Saints, fulfilling President M. Russell Ballard's 2017 challenge to “listen to and understand what our LGBT brothers and sisters are feeling and experiencing”. (BYU Nov 2017 Devotional). Richard is supportive of the Church, its leaders, and doctrine. This book is for all Latter-day Saints and is an extension of the Listen, Learn & Love podcast. It brings together hundreds of stories in a comprehensive review of the many topics around being LGBTQ and a Latter-day Saint. This book is for all Latter-day Saints and is an extension of the Listen, Learn & Love podcast. It brings together hundreds of stories in a comprehensive review of the many topics around being LGBTQ and a Latter-day Saint.
The Law of Love - by Steve Young
THE LAW OF LOVE―loving as God loves, seeking another’s healing, expecting nothing in return―is a simple principle with profound, life-changing implications. How can we live the law of love? Steve Young shares insights from his own multifaceted life as well as from others who are scientists, fellow Latter-day Saints, Anglican, atheist, Baptist, Catholic, Confucian, Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, and secular people of wisdom, as well as from the scriptures. This practical book may shift your mindset to a more expansive worldview that just might change everything. Whether in football, work, church, or family, the law of love is undefeated.
