TO CONDONE OR NOT CONDONE?

One of the most glorious truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ is that we are promised His Spirit to be with us. His Spirit is the ultimate gift of direction, love, correction, and the knowledge that the Savior’s hand is in our lives.

The Savior asks us to follow His commandments, the things he asks us to do through inspiration, and callings, etc.

You know what? NOWHERE are we asked to condone or not condone other people’s behaviors, feelings, identities, or beliefs. Christ has not asked us to do those things. (In fact, didn’t He say that we should NOT judge others?)

It’s common to talk about condoning as it applies to LGBTQ people (whether they’ve actually done anything wrong or not), but why is this the thing that people feel they are obligated to judge, when there is an endless list of our neighbor’s actions and beliefs we could potentially choose to condone or not condone?

If we spend our time determining everything our neighbors should (or shouldn’t) be doing, that would keep us so busy, we wouldn’t have time to breathe.

The Savior’s divine commandments make such good, simple sense - and, If properly followed, can create a much-needed unity in our world. #1- love Him and personally follow His commandments. #2- love your neighbor in a way that shines the love of the Savior on them.

The idea that we have the right to condone or not condone the lives of others didn’t come from the Savior. He is the only one who can rightly judge.

How can I HELP my neighbor?

THAT is the question. #loveoneanother

#Lgbtq #lgbt #latterdaysaints #latterdaysaint #lds #ldschurch #ldsparents #ldsparenting #ldsysa #lgbtqysa #lgbtqlds #ldslgbtq #liftandloveorg

GOD WILL YET REVEAL MANY GREAT & IMPORTANT THINGS

I am so grateful for this article of our faith.

While some feel we know everything we need to know about men, women, marriage, family, our purpose, and the eternities, there are so, SO, many members who still have a ton of questions.

For LGBTQ individuals and families, these gaps in understanding are often the catalyst to a deeper dive into doctrine, scripture, and ongoing restoration. This scares loved ones who are watching, but countless people have told me they have grown much closer to the Savior because of their need for His comfort and answers they can only get directly from him.

This process can be an amazing testimony strengthener, but it’s exhausting.

If in the middle of this process, the church community dismisses their questions, declares adamantly that nothing will ever change, or fails to provide a hope-filled shelter for those who doubt, we have to understand, people will leave!

We are a people led by revelation given to prophets and apostles.

We are a people led by personal revelation given in our own language for our benefit and the benefit of our families.

We are a people who believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things, TOGETHER! - Allison

#Lgbtq #lgbt #latterdaysaints #latterdaysaint #lds #ldschurch #ldsparents #ldsparenting #ldsysa #lgbtqysa #lgbtqlds #ldslgbtq #liftandloveorg

WHY ARE SO MANY FAMILIES WITH LGBTQ CHILDREN LEAVING THE CHURCH?

Most visibly "out" individuals in past decades were adult gay men. Because homosexuality was considered a choice and viewed as a threat to family and religious values, most were pushed out or left family and religious communities and existed on the wild edges of society. Too many struggled to feel worthy of God's love.

A few families bravely maintained healthy, loving connections with their LGBTQ children; fewer openly supported them.

Of the many changes over the last five decades, I believe the most important is happening inside families. Equipped with vocabulary and "out" peers, children are more comfortable coming out to parents as they begin to understand their differences often when they are still in Primary or YM/YW.

These children are so young, and innocent parents are fiercely protective of their emotional, physical, social, and spiritual well-being. Parents have heard tragic first-hand accounts of pain experienced by LGBTQ friends or family. Many parents report sacred, personal revelations guiding them to listen to and support their children.

The parents I work with daily are desperate for a healthy and whole life for their children.

The impact of this shift cannot be understated; it is seismic!

As the family adjusts to their new reality, they attend church for the same love, support, and religious nourishment they have always received. They may now experience awkwardness or marginalization from long-time friends and leaders. They attend church meetings and seminary classes where some teachers and others say being LGBTQ is not part of God's plan, or worse, it's part of Satan's. When a family can't find a safe and supportive place, they will leave broken-hearted. Often before anyone in the ward is even aware of the LGBTQ child.

The Lift and Love Foundation exists to help LGBTQ Latter-Day Saint families stay connected to each other and to the Savior. Join us as we work to make our wards and homes safe places for all our Heavenly Parent's children, including (and maybe especially) their LGBTQ children. - Allison

#ldsparents #ldsparenting #ldsysa #lgbtqysa #lgbtqlds #ldslgbtq #liftandloveorg

Respecting Pronouns - A Simple Way to Help Save Lives

Lift+Love Transgender Mama Specialist Anita Ervin has compiled an easy-to-understand resource titled “Transgender and Non-Binary Education” that covers many of the basic facts about being transgender or non-binary. It’s great for beginners or anyone who has questions about what it means to be transgender or non-binary. You can find the document on the Lift+Love website in the educate section (under “helpful info”). She covers definitions, pronouns & appropriate verbiage, and more. Check it out - you will learn a lot! 

Want a shortcut to Anita’s resource? Click here to go directly to her article.

Statistics source: the American Academy of Pediatrics https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/142/4/e20174218/76767/Transgender-Adolescent-Suicide-Behavior?autologincheck=redirected

HOW CAN I TALK TO MY KIDS ABOUT DATING, MARRIAGE, ETC WHEN SOME ARE LGBTQ & SOME ARE STRAIGHT?

This is the reality for any family with gay and straight kids. The fact is, the law of chastity is different for our gay and lesbian children, they are asked to live the law of celibacy, with no help or support. A search of the church website brings up celibacy under both the Topical Guide and the Guide to the Scriptures, but each only says, “see marriage, marry”…

screenshots from the www.churchofjesuschrist.org “topical guide” and “guide to the scriptures” after searching for the term “celibacy”

Parents of LGBTQ children are so often on their own to navigate with no map and often no support.

To church members who don’t face these challenging dilemmas, we only ask for support and love- and that you might add your prayers to ours, as we pray for more light and knowledge to shine on our LGBTQ Latter-Day Saint families - Allison

This blog post was originally a @liftandloveorg social media post on Instagram April 20th, 2022. Many experienced LGBTQ parents and LGBTQ individuals posted their thoughts, experiences, and suggestions as comments to that post, so you may want to check out that post on Instagram for more information.

LGBTQ youth are reaching coming out milestones at younger ages than in previous years

According to the Trevor Project @trevorproject report on “Age of Sexual Orientation Outness and Suicide Risk” October 10, 2022: “LGBTQ youth are not inherently prone to poor mental health and suicide risk because of their LGBTQ identity but rather placed at higher risk because of the stigma and mistreatment they face on the basis of their identity (Meyer, 2003)…LGBTQ youth are reaching coming out milestones at younger ages than in previous years (Meyer et al., 2021)...These findings further convey that coming out in and of itself is not harmful to youth, at any age. Rather, it is the harmful environments in which LGBTQ youth find themselves that contribute to the negative outcomes we see. Overall, this suggests that instead of insisting that younger LGBTQ youth not come out for fear of exposure to bullying and harassment, the people in their lives should create environments in which they can do so safely. This is particularly true given that choosing to delay coming out, for a variety of valid reasons, was also associated with increased suicide risk. The constant is that LGBTQ youth who have support from others report better outcomes, suggesting that parents and family members, teachers, school administrators, and other direct service providers must ensure that the spaces LGBTQ youth find themselves in are affirming and supportive of their identities. For example, they can help advocate for and implement LGBTQ-inclusive school policies, from zero tolerance for anti-LGBTQ bullying and harassment and bystander intervention training to non-discrimination protections and suicide prevention policies and classroom curricula that reflect the experiences of LGBTQ students”

Learn more at www.thetrevorproject.com

#Lgbtq #lgbt #latterdaysaints #latterdaysaint #lds #ldschurch #ldsparents #ldsparenting #ldsysa #lgbtqysa #lgbtqlds #ldslgbtq #liftandloveorg #nationalcomingoutday #NationalComingOutDay #ComingOutDay #HappyComingOutDay #HappyNationalComingOutDay

What can i do to prepare for Sunday lessons about the temple?

If you are a Young Women Leader, a member of the Bishopric, or other youth leader involved with the Sunday lessons, please take special care to remember that this could be a sensitive topic for many of the youth (whether you are aware of their concerns or not). Love and teach like the Savior, and let the Spirit guide you in teaching this important (but sensitive) lesson.

Here are some suggestions:

PS-
If you’re not sure why this subject might be sensitive for some youth (and adults), see the graphics below for more info!

GO AND SIN NO MORE (RIGHT?)

In the last little while, I’ve heard many people use this phrase as a reason to withhold support or condemn LGBTQ people. How did this happen?

The story of the woman taken in adultery is one of my favorites. It is the very message of the atoning gift of the Savior and the grace He offers each of us.

You know the story. The scholars and the Pharisees bring a woman caught in adultery the place her in the middle of the Temple court and ask Jesus what should be done with her. It’s an obvious trick to convict the Savior. In response Jesus simply says, “Let the person among you who has never done wrong throw the first stone at her.”

So, here’s the really tricky part, the law demands that she be stoned to death. Had any one in the crowd felt they were good enough to throw stones, they might have become a killer.

Skipping to the end misses the layers of beauty in the Savior’s way of loving each of us.

First, He protects her by clearing away those who mean her harm. Only then does speak directly to her about the things she has done. When she tells him no one is left to condemn her, He says to her, “Neither do I condemn thee. Go and sin no more.”

Sometimes we’re the woman, sometimes we’ the crowd, but Jesus Christ is always the light and the way through our own complicated circumstances.

Using the line, “Go and sin no more” to point out where you think others are wrong, is a lot like waiting in the shadows until the Savior leaves and then picking up one of the unused stones and hucking it at her. - Allison

1 in 5 Gen Z adults (ages 18-25) identify as LGBTQ

LGBTQ identification up from 5.6% in 2020 - One in five Gen Z adults (ages 18-25) identify as LGBTQ

The percentage of U.S. adults who self-identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or something other than heterosexual has increased to a new high of 7.1%, which is double the percentage from 2012, when Gallup first measured it.

Source: https://news.gallup.com/poll/389792/lgbt-identification-ticks-up.aspx

Is "Conversion Therapy" still a thing?

***Trigger warnings - discussion of suicide / suicide attempts and conversion therapy***

Is “conversion therapy” for LGBTQ individuals still happening? According to the recent Trevor Project LGBTQ Mental Health Survey, 17% of current LGBTQ youth have been threatened with or have been forced to undergo these types of therapies. 

Did you know that LGBTQ kids who are threatened with and/or undergo these conversion therapies are more than TWICE  as likely to attempt suicide?

What is the church* policy on “conversion therapy”?

Methods of “fixing” LGBTQ+ are not effective and are harmful. A change in attraction should not be expected or demanded.

"Family Services has a longstanding and express policy against using therapies that seek to repair, 'convert," or 'change' sexual orientation (such as from homosexual to heterosexual). Research demonstrates that electric shock, aversion therapy, and other analogous therapies are ineffective and harmful to youth who experience same-sex attraction" (Church Website Official Statement)

For more information about therapy that could be helpful to LGBTQ+ individuals and their families, we recommend seeking counsel from licensed professionals. You can find a list of resources on our website here.

*the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

IS EVERY INTERACTION AT CHURCH A TEMPLE RECOMMEND INTERVIEW?

“Every interaction at church isn’t a temple recommend interview, our job isn’t to determine worthiness!”

My dear friend, a ward YW president, brought this up during ward council where the group was discussing how to create a place of belonging and safety for all to worship the Lord.

The bishop’s counselor suggested they put the phrase on t-shirts.

I think it’s safe to say, unless you happen to be the bishop, none of our interactions should be temple recommend interviews. Not in our heads, and definitely not out loud.

In nearly every single healing interaction we see in the Savior’s ministry, we see the truth of this.

The Pharisees, forever holding temple recommend interviews, slowed down the Savior’s work, as they peppered him with comments that started with “BUT… “

Is it just me, or do you sense an internal sigh in the Savior’s tone as you read how he patiently responds with questions that often turn the focus back on the one asking the question?

I think it is very telling that the first and most important commandment, is where OUR focus should be. Loving God with all our heart, and with all our soul, and with all our mind. It is a complete personal plan for divine guidance as we learn to become like Him.

The second, is our responsibility to others. To love them as though they were us. He didn’t say love your neighbors like you want to be loved, HE said love them as yourself.

Not a hint of responsibility for making sure OTHERS are following the temple worthiness guidelines.

However, we have been deputized to do proxy work for the Lord. To love and create unity with our neighbors. SO much so that they ARE actually part of us.

When we do the Spirit of the Lord will flow like a current through all of us and we will each know that sweet feeling of love from and belonging to the family of Our Heavenly Parents.

We can do this now, no temple recommend interview needed. - Allison

45% of LGBTQ teens have considered suicide in the past year - What can we DO?

45% of LGBTQ teens have considered suicide in the past year. We have to do something - we need every one of those wonderful kids and their unique talents & perspectives in our families, our neighborhoods, our schools, our churches, and our workplaces. But what can we DO?

FIRST STEP: Head over to the Lift+Love website and find the "QPR Suicide Prevention" section (pink circle on the home page). Sign up for a FREE online class to learn practical skills for preventing suicide. The class takes only 1 1/2 hours, but it has the potential to save lives- literally. The classes are held multiple times every month, so you can find one that works with your schedule.

TELL YOUR FRIENDS! Everyone 18+ is welcome.

Source: The Trevor Project LGBTQ Youth Mental Health Survey 2022

#Lgbtq #lgbt #latterdaysaints #latterdaysaint #lds #ldschurch #ldsparents #ldsparenting #ldsysa #lgbtqysa #lgbtqlds #ldslgbtq #liftandloveorg #qpr #qprsuicideprevention #qprsuicidepreventiontraining #suicideprevention #lgbtqsuicideprevention #lgbtqsuicideawareness.